Tag Archive | Change

Choose Wisely

© Wendy Clark, 2025

Isaiah 48:17-18, ESV
Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.
Oh that you had paid attention to my commandments!    
Then your peace would have been like a river,  and your righteousness like the waves of the sea . . .”

The sad truth is that though we cannot alter God’s sovereign purposes, we can limit God’s working in our present life. The choices that we make every day, minute by minute, matter. They add up to something. We can choose in ways that align with God’s plans and His purposes and His ways, which lead to peace “like a river” and “righteousness like the waves of the sea.”

Peace like a river–flowing, steady, cleansing–a deep peace that comes from being in the presence of God. In the eternal kingdom it is a river of the Holy Spirit that flows out of the presence of God, out of His throne, and into the surrounding city. By living according to God’s commands that peace, the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit, flows within my life right now, in this present life.

Righteousness like the waves of sea–constant, inevitable, powerful. Walking in God’s ways, living according to His commands, leads me to the path of righteousness. Through the power of the Holy Spirit in me, I am changed, conformed to the image of Jesus over time.

But I don’t have to be. 

I can choose poorly, and I can live unwisely. And God gives that freedom to me.

I am convinced that God gives us freedom because freedom to choose, even to choose unwisely, is good and right and holy. He grants this freedom to His angels, created to serve Him. He grants that freedom to us, created to worship Him and to bring Him glory. Though He could, by His power and His will, lock us up and force us to obey, He does not. He shows us the right path, the holy and perfect path, and then He sets us free to choose it or to choose some other path.

And we are always choosing.

The very good news is that, even if we have been on the wrong path, choosing unwisely, going our own way, at any time we can surrender and realign ourselves to God’s path, to God’s ways.  We can make this switch when we have started off a day heading in the wrong direction. We can make this switch even if we have traveled on the wrong path for many days or weeks or months or years.

It is not easy to move from one path to another, and the longer we have traveled in the wrong direction, the more difficult it may be, and it will require the power of the Holy Spirit in us and a constant and consistent surrender of self, my own plans, my own purposes, my own ways, to God’s plans, His purposes, and His ways. And make no mistake, His ways are not our ways, and surrender will require something of us.

But it is worth it to “consider myself dead to sin” (Romans 6:11). The Apostle Paul writes:

“When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right. And what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.” (Romans 6:20-22, NLT)

Paul says that though we are no longer slaves to sin as we were before we had the Holy Spirit living in us, we still have to choose to live as free from the power of sin.

Today, choose life that you might live.

The Shifting Culture of Higher Education

© Wendy Clark,  2025

I have been thinking about my college teaching experience as well as some of the ideological battles that have been taking place over the past few years. I began teaching college writing and critical thinking classes in California in 1991 and taught part-time until we moved to Idaho in 2014. I was not unhappy when I left, but I had observed so many changes over the years, and I may well have left at just the right time for me.

I still love teaching, and I loved teaching and cared about my students in the couple of decades that I taught. I found it to be a very rewarding job. Here are some of the changes I saw over the years that were leading to the “woke” culture that many have referenced as taking over many colleges and universities.

I’m not sure of the timeline, but a colleague who was the head of the English Department and was a white woman, was accused of being a racist. This sweet and kind woman who was loved by many faculty and students and was defended by many, found that she could not “prove” that she wasn’t a racist.

The “evidence” brought forward–by another colleague–was very weak and to me seemed to be manufactured and manipulated. The result was that the head of the English department became an elected position, rather than an appointed one. The woman who brought forward the charges against the current head was elected to that position–just once. The woman who lost her position continued to teach and to prepare for her retirement, but she was wounded by all that had been said about her. 

I saw no evidence that shifting this position to an elected position instead of a position that was appointed by the head of the Language Arts Department benefited those of us teaching in the English Department. The woman who brought the charges and then was elected to the position was not better at it than the woman who had held that position for some time and was experienced at it. The primary way I was personally affected by the person holding that position was that she was in charge of assigning teaching assignments. The appointed woman had been very skilled at that task. The newly elected woman, not so much. She was a “woman of color.” Did that make her better at the job? Not so much. I preferred the women who previously held the position primarily because she had been very helpful and encouraging, and I had learned a lot from her. I had no real interaction with the woman newly elected to this position.

I remember a faculty meeting where this woman talked about how frightened she was as a woman of color every time that she went to the bathroom by herself. I asked if there had been any incidents at the college that I wasn’t aware of. Had anyone been accosted in the restroom? This was important to me because I often taught in the evenings and might go to the restroom at 10:00 at night.

The colleague answered, “no” to my question, but said that didn’t matter because it was her feeling of being afraid that mattered, not whether or not any incident had ever occurred. This was Napa Valley College, and there were no cases of violence or threat or gangs at that time. I had taught in both Santa Ana and San Pablo where there were actual cases of threat and gangs and violence and real reasons to be fearful and careful. 

In the late 90s, a colleague told me that I should apply for a full-time job right away if I ever wanted to work full time. She said, “We probably will only hire maybe one more white woman for many years to come. After that, there will be no more full-time jobs available for white women.” My youngest child was only 4 at the time and that colleague said that was when she went full time when her youngest was 4. Although I thought at that time that I would teach full time some day, I did not feel the time was right, but I made note of the fact that my gender and my skin color could  affect my ability to get a full-time position at the college where I loved teaching.

Later, after all that had happened to the woman who had been heading up the English department left a very bad taste in my mouth, I lost interest in ever teaching at this particular college full-time. As a part-timer I could avoid attending staff meetings and all the tension that they brought. I also could avoid some of the strange things that full-timers were sometimes asked to do. If you didn’t pay a part timer for it, you couldn’t require it, but more about that later.

Around that same time, I started to read more student essays that seemed to be rewriting history into some new version that I didn’t recognize. I had many conversations with students about the things they were learning in their history classes. One of the of things I remember from that time was an oversimplification of the conflict between native Americans and the colonists, with the colonists presented as the “bad guys” and the native Americans as the “victims.” There seemed to be no understanding of the clash of cultures (with colonists who believed in private property ownership and tribes who did not) or the fear stirred up by the violence of certain tribes as well as how some tribes came to fear settlers based on the behaviors of some. 

There was no discussion of the tribes that were known to be peaceful and the tribes that were known to be violent. There was no thought given to how colonization was viewed at that time in most parts of the world and little understanding of the different groups of Europeans who came to the “new world,” the different reasons for which they came, and the different interactions that they had with native Americans when they arrived. 

Another oversimplified narrative that was rising up at that time was that the United States at its inception was somehow unusual in its practice of slavery. Students were unaware that slavery at that time was present in every country in the world. There were even Africans who participated by enslaving and selling their own people. They were also unaware of the white people around the world who were also sold as servants and shipped away from where they were born and from their family members. This was not an “American” thing or a white/black thing, or sadly, even an unusual thing, but students were being taught to think that way.

There was also a false narrative of how the Founding Fathers viewed slavery. The fact that slavery continued to exist as long as it did was used as evidence that they did not want to get rid of it. Students were unaware of all of the writings by the Founding Fathers, including Thomas Jefferson, in which they discussed how they might end slavery and what that would require. They didn’t know that it was the western nations that first outlawed slavery. Again, this was an issue of oversimplification, something that we talked a lot about in my critical thinking classes, where the primary questions we always asked were “Is this true?” and “How do we know?” and “Where can we go to find out?”

A student was writing his research paper on immigration and was critical of  United States’ immigration laws. I asked him to include in his paper a discussion of immigration laws from other countries around the world. He was shocked to discover that he, as an American citizen, couldn’t just move to and live in any country he wanted. He hadn’t realized that there were immigration laws in most countries. How had this been overlooked in the discussions he was having in his other class at the college?

One of the things I love about teaching is having relationships with students and having really good discussions about all kinds of different things. Over time, this was becoming more challenging. All of us faculty members were being instructed to not share anything that might be construed as “advice” to students. They should be sent to the counseling department where presumably the counselors had been trained in how to give advice. This is a direction that I accepted but only up to the point of my rights as an American citizen to share my thoughts and opinions as my thoughts and opinions. I found it interesting that the concern was directed most often toward conservative ideas even though far-left professors were teaching things as “true” that were not true at all. Conservative professors were far more likely than their left counterparts to entertain many different perspectives in the classroom and to avoid sharing their own opinion as the only correct option. My left-leaning colleagues were the ones most likely to be described by students as “hammering” their positions in the classroom and “punishing” students for expressing a dissenting opinion.

There were many times that I had students come to my office, close the door, and then ask my opinion about things like religion, marriage, church, or how to handle a hostile instructor. According to the law, I could answer anything that an adult student asked me as long as I was clear that I was offering my own ideas and opinions, and I kept to that standard. But more and more the pressure was rising to never talk to students about anything personal.

One of the other pressures that I encountered as an instructor was to give passing grades to students even when they did not do work that earned a passing grade. One student told me that her school counselor discouraged her from taking my class because it was “too difficult” and “too many” students failed my classes. This student had already taken two of my classes and insisted on taking a third class from me because she believed that she was learning a lot in my classes. 

Of course, I did fail students who did not receive the minimum of a 60% in their coursework, but I gave credit for doing both homework and in-class work, that wasn’t graded (you could get an “A”  on certain parts of the course by simply completing the work and turning it in), I allowed students to rewrite their essays many times if needed in order to get a passing grade, and I worked with students to get them to pass. A student who failed either didn’t turn in a lot of work, wasn’t willing to rewrite their work, didn’t attend class sessions, or some combination of these things. A student had to work pretty hard to not get at least a “C” in my classes because I worked really hard to try to get them to learn the things they needed to know to move to the next course.

Another problem that I encountered as a part-time instructor is that I was careful to assign the required number of pages for reading and for writing as spelled out in the “course outline of record,” but many of the full-time instructors did not adhere to the requirements (I assume that many did). Of course, it would have been easier to assign and read fewer essays, but writing students learn the most by writing and receiving feedback for their writing. Students who had an “easier” instructor often referred to how much less writing they had to do with that instructor even though I knew the requirement for that class section was much higher than students were experiencing. Students mentioned the names of specific professors often, so I came to believe that they weren’t “spinning tales.” By comparison those teachers who assigned the work they were supposed to assign were seen as “hard” teachers, demanding too much of their students.

Over the years, the culture was shifting, gradually, but noticeably. I was asked by a student to not refer to her as a “young lady”–even though her appearance was as a young lady– because her goal was to become a young man. This was my first encounter with transgender issues, and it made me very sad for this young woman. However, it did not change how I treated her in class or how I graded her work. I prayed for her then and still pray for her as she comes to mind. I know that my doing so would be deeply offensive to some. She was kind to me, though, and we had a friendly conversation unlike what is often posted on social media today when someone is not referred to in the way that they desire, and I did my best not to “misgender” her again. I wasn’t trying to be offensive, but at the same time, she wasn’t trying to be offended. (Using “her” here at the period of history is deeply offensive to some, but using “him” here would be neither accurate, nor clarifying.)

I had a student become angry with me after I mentioned the “Negro College Fund” by name and so used the word “negro” in the classroom. She addressed me in private about it, though, and I explained that the name was chosen by the organization and that I was not using a descriptive word. It was the actual name of an actual organization.  She was very surprised at that, but she stopped being angry and was not aggressive also unlike what we see on social media in our current culture. I suggested as a research paper topic how we name things, how the meanings of words change over time, how our association with words change and the question of when we need to change titles to fit the changing culture.

It stands out to me now that Megan Kelley was driven out of her position at NBC for asking such a question in regards to the use of “black face” in entertainment. She wondered when it moved from being generally accepted to being tabu. It was a good question, but asking the question got her “canceled” and fired.

Nearing the end of my time at the college, we would get invitations to come to the quad and join hands in support of and solidarity with the LBGTQ community (at that time those were all of the initials being used). As a part-timer I could not be required to attend, and I never did. Why not? I treated all of my students with respect and kindness and graded all of their papers fairly, based on how well they were written, not on the opinions they held. But–I believed and still do believe that the agendas associated with the LBGTQ community are often harmful to students and not beneficial to them. And while I support all people’s right to think of themselves and present themselves however they want to, I do not agree that all choices are equal and good and the best thing for us, and I do not think I should pretend that I do agree, and I certainly should not be required to profess things that I do not think are true.

Eventually, I encountered the first of the “woke” trainings at the college. It was presented to us this way:  If we would voluntarily attend “diversity and inclusion” training, we would receive a virtual “sticker” to post on our staff web page that announced to students that our classrooms were a “safe place” for students of all colors and identities. Would that mean, then, that the classrooms of all instructors who did not attend this training and did not have this sticker were “unsafe” places for some students?  Many, like me, recognized that this idea was insulting and that it was the accusation that you are guilty until you prove otherwise. I did my best to treat all of my students fairly. I had never been accused of treating any student unfairly. Why would I need special training to have my classes declared “safe” for my students?

At the end of one of the essays that we read and discussed in my writing classes was a cultural survey about attitudes toward sex, dating, marriage, etc. I had students in my classes complete this survey anonymously for nearly 20 years. The changes in the answers over the years as well as the way the discussions shifted over time, revealed a huge cultural shift that is both alarming and terribly sad.

In the mid 90s the overwhelming majority of students believed that sex should be inside a committed relationship–that the couple should be married or at least engaged. When asked how often they had sex, most students answered “never” or “seldom,” but also believed that their peers had sex “often” or even “daily.” When I asked about this disparity in my classes, more than one student pointed to TV and movies for what they thought was “normal.” I remember one student who said, “Well, on ‘Friends’ they are all having sex with each other.”

By the time of my last semester of teaching in 2014, most students responded on the survey with approval of sex with someone you just met, “casual hook ups.” In class discussions many students said they considered marriage irrelevant and did not plan to get married or have children. They pointed to their own parents and their failed marriages as the reason behind their thinking. Students had begun celebrating their “uncommittment” to each other. True love, they argued, was expressed by staying with someone without ever having to commit to staying. Each day you stayed was a new profession of love.

I taught college classes for over 20 years, and in that time, the culture of the community college where I taught most of those years shifted and changed in so many ways, most of them not good or healthy at all. I saw a community of instructors–where adjunct and full-timers liked and supported each other, shift to an us-against-them mentality over issues of pay and resources and unions. I saw the rise of a division between faculty members based on political and religious views and race. I saw the rise of Atheism as a value among faculty members as well as the celebration of pagan religions as valued while Christianity was devalued and maligned.

I did not leave teaching because I was unhappy or worried about where these things were going; I left because my family and I felt called by God to move, to establish a church and ministry, and to begin reaching out and serving in a culture in very intentional ways that involved moving to a community that did not have a place for me to teach college English. 

But . . . I can’t help but think that God moved me at exactly the right time. I don’t know how I would have navigated all the things that have happened in the decade since I left teaching. I know that much of what has occurred has made me very sad about the state of higher education.

Lately, I have felt a little bit hopeful about the future of higher education. Perhaps spaces are opening up for conservative-leaning instructors, traditional historians, and both instructors and students of faith and conviction. Maybe education will land more firmly on the side of the free exchange of ideas and the freedom to express dissenting viewpoints. 

We wait. We watch. We pray.

Don’t Lose Heart

© Wendy Clark, 2025

The closest I have ever come to being persecuted for my faith was a teacher making me feel uncomfortable for my views on the value of life, a professor warning me to not “take the Bible too seriously,” a classmate rolling his eyes at me over something I said I believe. None of these things are real persecution.

I have experienced being mocked for being “good” or for doing good or for trying to help someone. In seeking to serve others, I’ve been accused of not helping “the right way” or “enough” or of helping the “wrong” person or people. I’ve been told that by helping I am the one responsible for the bad actions of another person.

All of these things can be discouraging, but if you are being obedient to God’s commands and are serving the broken and hurting around you, don’t be discouraged when doing so becomes difficult. Serving broken people is not easy, and it is often a thankless job. Sometimes the people that you reach out to help will turn on you, become angry, maybe even lie about you. They may be manipulative or harsh in their criticism of you. 

Serve others anyway.

If you live for rewards in this life, you will give up when the person you step out to care for is thankless, selfish, spiteful. But if you can remember that none of what you do is about you, that the goal goes far beyond the here and now, you will be able to stand even in the midst of lies or hurtful accusations.

So many things that others say and do can feel personal, and though words and actions might be directed at you, they often aren’t even about you. So while you should assess your part in any conflict you have with others, don’t take on the responsibility that belongs to someone else. Don’t consider yourself guilty just because a broken person says that you are. Remember that broken people say and do broken things, and that very often they aren’t ready to take responsibility for their own feelings and words and actions.

It’s easier to help people who are physically, financially, socially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. But have you noticed that those aren’t the people who really need help? The people who need help have problems, real problems. Their problems aren’t easily solved, often have a long history, and usually run deep. They have problems because they don’t have it all together. 

And their problems might be their “fault.” They haven’t done the kinds of things that result in physical, financial, social, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. They might not “deserve” help. But they are often desperate for help. They are often stuck, and without help, they won’t be able to move forward. And sadly, often with help, they won’t take the steps that they need to take to move forward.

Be willing to help anyway.

Pay attention, and don’t fall into doing more than the person you are trying to help is willing to do. Reach out your hand, but wait for the other person to grab onto it. If a person is stuck in a pit, don’t jump down in it and try to comfort the person there. The goal is to encourage and draw the person to climb out of the pit and to help the person on that upward climb. 

All of this must be done with fervent and consistent prayer. God knows what the broken person needs. You see only a tiny bit of what is going on, so pray for wisdom all along the way.

And when you are investing time and energy in a person and that person decides to go in an unexpected direction, don’t let the disappointment or even the sense of betrayal you might feel keep you from doing what God has called you to do and being who God has called you to be. Serve others even when it seems a thankless task. Serve others because you serve the Lord Jesus Christ who gave Himself up for you, and know that He promises that there are rewards for you in Eternity. Eternal rewards.

Always keep Eternity in mind. Know that the only real hope you have to offer someone is the Gospel of Jesus Christ–the very good news that through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for our sins, we can be reconciled to God. The Holy Spirit will come into our lives and begin to transform the way we think, the way we see the world. Over time, our desires will change, and if we give attention to the Word of God, we will become more like Jesus and more aligned with God’s plans, and God’s purposes, and God’s ways. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, people really do change.

So don’t lose heart. Don’t give up. Don’t stop praying, and don’t stop loving and serving. Remain steadfast and faithful, knowing that it’s always worth it to do the will of a good, gracious, generous, and loving God. 

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:9-10).

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life (2 Corinthians 3:4-6). Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart” (2 Corinthians 4:1).

True Love

© Wendy Anne Clark, 2023

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  –1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT

The world around us has its own definition of love, an ever-changing definition of love. But God tells us what true love is like, and His definition stands firm through the ages, no matter how people change. 

C. S. Lewis understood that what is ultimately for a person’s good is more loving than the things we do to give into a feeling in the moment. God’s love for us is also connected to our ultimate good and not necessarily to the things we desire for ourselves.

In his letter to the Romans Paul writes that “all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (vs. 28). If we keep reading, we discover that the “good” that Paul is writing about is that we would be conformed to the image of Jesus.

Transformation–the kind that will require us to die to self and allow the Holy Spirit to shape us. This shaping will no doubt require some hard things, some painful experiences, some suffering. It might not always feel like “love” to us. It might not always feel like it’s working for our “good.” We can resist if we want to, but how we respond today is shaping us into who we will be tomorrow.

Changed and Changing

I’m not the person I once was and not the person that I will one day be. And that’s very good news. 

Today, I have lived 59 years.That’s amazing to me and somewhat unbelievable. Wasn’t I in my twenties just moments ago? In truth I’ve been planting many seeds in my life in the past 30 years (and more). As I look back at the growth in my life in the past 30 years, what does the crop look like that I am harvesting now?

I’ve learned to love better, much better. I’m more patient in difficult circumstances and with difficult people. I’ve learned how to wait well, to wait on GOD as a loving Father and to be more compassionate with hurting people. I treat people more gently and with more kindness. 

I feel peaceful most of the time, no matter what manner of chaos is going on around me. I live with deep joy.

All of these things have grown in me, not because I am someone outstanding or amazing, but because over time I have learned to surrender to the prodding of the Holy Spirit in my life, day after day after day. I have come to understand the benefit of surrendering quickly and fully to the Holy Spirit, to not try to battle it out with the GOD of the universe. I have experienced His goodness and His grace, His great kindness and tender mercy.

I have responded to the hunger and thirst for the Word that the Holy Spirit has stirred in me, and it has continued to grow more deep and vast, and my view of Scripture has grown richer and more intense. It’s been opened up to me in a way that Wendy in her twenties only dreamed of. Consequently, I have grown consistent in seeking GOD through His Word and have gradually expanded my morning time with Him, wanting so much more.

I sense GOD’s presence so very close to me all throughout the day now, every day. If I feel fearful or anxious, my first and immediate response is to go to GOD as my loving Father in prayer and worship. He is my refuge. He comforts me, leads me, and holds me. He faithfully draws out all fear and worry. In His presence is perfect peace.

I knew GOD well when I was 39. I’d had babies and cancer and healing. I knew Him even better at 49.I’d had failures and successes and walked in more confidence and less fear.

At 59 I realize that I’ve only begun to know Him. In the past decade I’ve relied even more on my heavenly Father for strength, comfort, direction, and provision. With my family I uprooted my life, resettled in another state, changed careers, started a ministry, and left behind a wonderful life for an equally wonderful, entirely different one.  I’ve lost both of my parents and have celebrated the lives they lived serving Jesus. I’ve moved into a new season where my siblings and I are now in that “older” generation.

And throughout all of these changes, I’ve continued to grow in my knowledge and understanding of GOD. And He is wonderful. I suspect that throughout Eternity I will be learning, growing, and knowing more and that there will be no end to the expanding depth and richness of understanding about who GOD is and how deeply He loves me.

I’m not done growing and changing. New challenges have revealed new places in me in need of GOD’s tender transformation, and I am confident that He will continue to refine me as I continue to cooperate with all that He wants to do in my life. 

And whatever this next year holds for me, I know that GOD will be faithful to His promises. He will never leave me (Hebrews 13:15), He will supply everything that I need (Philippians 4:19), and He will work out all things for my good (Romans 8:28).

The last birthday of my fifties. The last year before turning 60. Ready.Set.Go!

Being Changed

© Wendy Clark, 2021

I’ve been using Bob Goff’s book Live in Grace-Walk in Love:A 365-Day Journey as a supplement to my other Bible studies, Bible reading, and personal reflection. Though Bob Goff’s book follows a schedule of sorts, I don’t read in keeping with it.  (I’m somewhere in October’s reading right now.) But as often happens when I read daily readings according to my own schedule, the reading for today relates well to what I have been thinking about.

Here are a few of the things that Bob Goff writes that stand out to me:

“ . . . when I started to think of them [dreaded airport experiences] as opportunities to give away love,my attitude changed.”

“When I think someone ought to be more loving, it’s usually me.”

“The longer I follow Jesus, the more I’m trying to see through the eyes of other people.”

“We come into contact with people every day who need to encounter love.”

“Don’t leave it to someone else to do the loving for you.”

I agree with all of these statements, and I understand them to be true, both in what I know and by what I have experienced. But I would not have been able to agree in the same way many years ago.

In a Bible study discussion the other day one question centered around our awareness of sin, what causes our awareness of sin, and how we respond when we become aware of our own sin.

I thought back to when I was 19 or 20, and in studying the book of I John, I became very convicted by my own lack of love for others, especially difficult people or people who thought very differently from me.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  
I John 4:7-8, ESV

I had sung this passage many times (maybe you can sing the song and know where the claps belong), but suddenly the words leaped off the page right into my heart, and the entire book of I John took on new significance for me.  I felt an acute awareness of my inability to truly love other people, not an emotional, feeling, but the love that Paul describes in I Corinthians 13:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
I Corinthians 13:4-7, ESV

I mourned over the incredible lack of true love in me, my intense selfishness, my general lack of concern about most other people, and my propensity to justify my own actions while criticizing the actions of others.

I came to the place where I recognized that in and of myself and my own will, I would never really love other people, especially difficult, challenging people. But that’s exactly what Jesus tells us to do.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” 
Matthew 5:43-47, ESV

I needed a Savior, a Deliverer, a Redeemer, and a Teacher,  I needed transformation by a Power other than my own.

And so . . . 

I confessed my sin of being selfish and unloving, and I took my sin where it belongs and laid it at the foot of the cross.  I surrendered.

I am convinced that if we really want to be changed, the cross is the place where we must start, confessing our sin to God, laying it down, along with all of the plans and schemes and methods that we have tried in our own strength, by our own understanding, and recognizing our total inability to do anything about our sin or our weakness. Then turning in the direction of Jesus, let Him take us to the next place in our journey.

Today when I read Bob Goff’s words about love, I agreed with them, knowing them to be true, both intellectually by the Word of God, and also by my personal experience, having lived them.  I am a much more loving person today than I was nearly 40 years ago when I felt hopeless in my ability to ever truly love.  I see the world completely differently than I did back then.  I see you differently.

How did I move from a place where loving people was never much on my radar to a place where loving people is front and center and where I actually look for opportunities to love other people?

I encountered the Word of God.
I believed it.
I submitted to it by putting it into practice.
I repeated these steps over and over and over again.

If you are struggling with sin, something in you that you know is counter to God’s Word, that you know needs to change, there is a simple practice that will take you to the next step:  Encounter the Word of God.  Believe it.  Surrender to it. 

Easy?  Often it is not. It tends to take a lot of practice.

Simple?  Yes, very simple.  Even a young child can learn this practice, step by step, and it’s something that we should teach our children, even as we model it for them.

So then, do I now love perfectly? No. I am still being transformed.  I am not who I once was, but I am not yet who I will be.  

To me, that is very good news because in this last strange and challenging year, I have both made some new mistakes, and I’ve also repeated some very old ones.  I have sometimes fallen into trying to persuade people who perhaps needed more to experience unconditional love. I have sometimes trod with heavy feet where I ought to have stopped lightly. 

I am aware of these sinful missteps because I have daily encountered the Word of God.  I believe that what God says is true and non-negotiable. I confess my sin daily (and trust me, I have daily sin to confess), and I seek to align myself with what God says is true and right and good.  I surrender.

Every day that I practice, practice, practice following Jesus, I am transformed by the Power of the Holy Spirit, little by little.

If we will seek to be transformed, minute by minute, day by day, over a lifetime, we will, in time, be greatly changed. Instead, often we look for huge change in a short amount of time and with little perseverance, and so find ourselves to be ever the same.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 
2 Corinthians 3:17-18, ESV

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  
Romans 12:1-2, ESV